Don't Do Me Like That
by Crystal Rivers
Summary: After a rude awaking from Snake one morning, Sonic decides to get back at him. However, he regrets it almost immediately after learning his fellow smasher's motives; but his pride keeps him from setting things right before they get out of hand. One-shot


**—Author's Note—**

Another Sonic and Snake one-shot. This one inspired by the song "Don't Do Me Like That" by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers. This one was going to be a two-shot, but I couldn't really think of how to extend it. Once again I've taken some of my own life experience and used it here; but just a little.

Also, I realize Sonic may be a little OOC, and Snake probably even more so, but I'm using established friendship; and Sonic is known to be impulsive. Probably not to the extent I've portrayed him here, so please forgive me if I haven't done the characters justice. Oh, and Samus and Snake are kind of a thing, at least implied.

Edit: Added a little more pranks.

 **Disclaimer: Sonic the Hedgehog and characters are (C) Sega. Super Smash Bros. and characters are (C) Nintendo. Metal Gear and characters are (C) Konami.**

* * *

In every brawling season, the Smash Mansion residents were required to get up early to fit as many fights into a day as possible. Saturdays were especially busy, and while most of the brawlers were used to it, veteran or new comer, there was one person in particular that hated it.

Sonic the Hedgehog, with his fur nappy and his eyes drooping, walked into the large kitchen on the left wing of the mansion. Normally he slept late, and would have been scolded by Master Hand. However, today was different.

Because Solid Snake had made sure he got up on time; with the added annoyance of scaring the crap out of him to do it.

Sonic didn't mind sharing a room with the man; most of the time, but today was the last time Snake would do something like that to him. He didn't know yet how he'd get him back, but there was no stopping him from his revenge.

Sonic noticed the coffee pot was full. The cream-pink mug Snake always used sat on the island. A devious smile appeared on his face, and Sonic began digging through the cabinets and fridge, and found the perfect thing.

Shortly afterwards, Snake came into the room and poured his coffee like every other morning. The only difference was Sonic sitting at the island, eating a bowl of cereal.

Snake leaned back against the counter, holding the steaming mug and looking at his roommate. "I'm sorry for waking you up like that."

Sonic looked at Snake, disbelieving. "Why'd you do it then?"

"Because I'm tired of Master Hand bitching at you about sleeping so late. Sometimes he asks me if you stay up all night, as if I should know. He says I should be more responsible for you; I'm guessing because you're a teenager." Snake blew his coffee and took a small sip. "And I wanted to scare the shit out of you."

Sonic stared back at his bowl as Snake sipped his coffee, but he had to force himself to eat. So Snake wasn't doing it just to get on his nerves. Suddenly he felt sick, so he set the bowl beside the sink and ran out of the room in a blur.

Snake thought he was acting strange, but assumed the teen was returning to their room to comb his fur or something.

~~~θ~~~

About an hour later Sonic had returned from a successful match against Mario and Luigi, and was about to take a nap in his room. However, as he came upon the main bathrooms he saw Otacon, Samus, Pikachu, and Kirby looking worried outside the men's bathroom.

Sonic approached them and asked them what happened, but he had a sinking feeling that he knew what it was.

"Snake was poisoned, or at least we think he was." Otacon informed him. He leaned against the wall, looking like a troubled philosopher.

"Link and Pit are in there with him, and Zelda's on her way with more medicine." Samus said.

Pikachu looked at Sonic with a sad look and a short cry.

Sonic's heart leapt with guilt, and he froze with a blank stare.

After a semi-long silence, Otacon looked at Sonic. "Do you know what happened?"

Sonic snapped to attention. "Uhh, no…I don't."

"No ideas?"

"Nope."

Otacon looked back at the floor. "I hope it isn't deadly. He's been a good friend to me."

The color drained from Sonic's muzzle, as he thought of Tails being in Snake's position. He muttered a quick, "hope he gets well," and ran off to his room with a burst of wind that tipped the humans and critters to the side.

~~~θ~~~

Sonic had lain on his bed until it was almost lunch time. And it wasn't until then that Snake walked into their room, supported by Samus and Otacon and followed by Zelda.

Sonic pretended to be asleep.

"I can walk, you know." Snake grunted breathlessly.

"I'm not taking chances on you, so suck it up." Otacon ordered.

Otacon and Samus gently laid their sweat drenched friend on his bed.

Zelda walked over to him and set a small bottle on his nightstand. "Drink it after lunch, or if you start to feel sick again. I'll tell Master Hand to send you something light."

"Don't bother; I won't be eating for a while."

"It will be there if you change your mind." Zelda replied evenly.

Just as they leaving, Zelda stopped and looked at Sonic, debating whether or not to put him in charge of Snake. She decided against it, her eyes narrowing for a split second. She left with Samus and Otacon, and closed the door behind her.

Sonic turned over, thinking Snake wasn't paying him any mind. He stared at the wall and tried not to think about his roommate.

"Sonic."

Sonic ignored him.

"I know you're awake."

Sonic turned over, feeling caught.

"You didn't have to go that far."

Sonic gave him a board stare. "Go that far with what?" He asked smoothly.

"Don't play Ray Charles."

"Who?"

Snake rolled eyes, then stared up at the ceiling for a short while. Suddenly his eyes went wide and he clutched his stomach.

Sonic was up in a second. He grabbed the bottle and held it out to Snake, who gulped the green liquid. Once his stomach settled, he lay breathing heavily, eyes closed, and tried to sleep.

Sonic, stuck between a rock and a hard place, had to choose between staying or going; both could be interpreted as a sign of guilt or innocence, one more so than the other. Eventually he left the room and went to lunch with the others.

A heated argument ensued at lunch. Mainly with Zelda and Samus, who insisted that Sonic should have stayed with Snake; and Sonic said that Snake was a grown man, and not his responsibility. After much irritation, Sonic took his lunch outside.

~~~θ~~~

After lunch, Sonic had another brawl; this time against Pit and Kirby, with Fox as his partner. Sonic lost focus and was knocked out of the brawl once, then returned to the stage with a vengeance, and he and Fox won after Sonic defeated Kirby as Super Sonic and Fox knocked Pit off stage with his own final smash. Afterwards, Sonic jogged around the mansion's grounds whistling a happy tune. Once he'd done a few laps around the mansion, he climbed into his favorite tree and lied against the trunk. He watched the clouds through the branches and thought about how much he wished his friends could be in the competition. Eventually he fell asleep, and did not wake up until it was almost dinner time.

He would have jumped down from the tree and went into the mansion, but his head was stuck to the tree.

What the heck happened? I thought these trees didn't have sap! Sonic tried to pull his head away, but whatever kept him stuck to the tree clung tightly to his quills, and Sonic yelped and slammed his head back to the tree.

Meanwhile, Snake watched Sonic struggle through a bar of binoculars from inside the mansion. He called Otacon on the Codec.

"|Otacon, you should've stayed here; this is priceless!|"

"|Snake, you didn't have to do that to him. I'm sure he felt sorry once you told him why you woke him up.|"

"|Even if he was sorry he didn't do anything about it.|"

"|He gave you Zelda's medicine before he left you.|"

"|….Doesn't count. Besides, I'm always told I need to lighten up.|"

"|Not like that.|"

Snake sent Otacon a picture of his achievement, adding, "|Don't tell me it isn't funny.|"

Otacon paused. Then said, "|Okay, it is a little funny.|"

"|Thought so.|"

That evening Snake sat alone at dinner, arousing suspicion from everyone.

Mario piped up. "Snake, do you know where Sonic is?"

Snake didn't look up from his food. "He's between the air and a woody place; said he'd be skipping dinner."

Mario wasn't satisfied with that answer, but took it anyway.

Even if Snake had changed his mind about leaving Sonic in the tree, he had promised the teen that he would "never, under any circumstance," reveal his hiding place. And he wasn't about to break that promise. So Snake would have to free him, unless someone else found him. Eventually, after much scolding by Otacon and Mei Ling, Snake freed Sonic from the tree using glue thinner.

"I should'a known it was you, Snake." Sonic said venomously.

Snake remained unfazed. "How do you think that?"

"Because you came up here with glue remover."

Snake painted his sarcasm with innocence. "What else could you be stuck to this tree with?"

"Gee, I don't know. How about double sided tape? tree sap?"

Snake eased Sonic's top quills off the tree. "You would have ripped free from those by now. And Oak trees don't have sap."

"Shadup."

"Just be glad I'm not ripping the fur off your quills." Snake snapped. He poured more glue thinner between Sonic's head and the tree, then gently separated the rest of Sonic's quills from the tree.

Sonic shook his head, slinging glue thinner everywhere. He looked up at Snake, sitting in front of him on the branch, and said. "Thank you."

Snake nodded, then stood and eased past Sonic to grab the trunk of the tree. He slid down smoother than a cat, and walked back to the mansion.

Sonic jumped down from the tree and ran into the mansion, then went into the bathroom in his and Snake's room to wash the remaining glue from his hair.

~~~θ~~~

The next morning, Snake awoke feeling stiff around his waist and privates. He looked down and to his dismay, found himself wearing tight pink panties, with a dark pink bow and brighter pink lace around the waist.

Snake looked at Sonic, who was sound asleep and buried under his blankets.

 _That's okay. There's room for payback._

Later that day, Snake discovered that the underwear belonged to Princess Peach. How and why Sonic obtained it, and replaced Snake's boxers with them, was a mystery that Snake never wanted to solve.

That evening, Sonic took a shower after dinner just as usual. However, his shampoo bottle was filled with green ink, and by the time he noticed it had completely colored his quills.

Snake sputtered when Sonic came out of the bathroom, and hurried in and locked the door when the hedgehog tried to tackle him.

He wouldn't get the dye out of his quills for another three days.

~~~θ~~~

The next day, Sonic and Snake had to team battle against Olimar and Captain Falcon on Shadow Moses. However, all was not right with the world.

As payback for gluing him to a tree, Sonic threw Snake at Captain Falcon, who Falcon punched him into the left tower. Then Sonic ran at Captain Falcon and spin dashed him against the other tower.

Snake got up and raced against Olimar to collect the pieces of Dragoon. He grabbed all but the wings, and fought Olimar viscously to get the remaining piece. With Sonic keeping Captain Falcon busy, Snake was able to knock Olimar into the air and send him flying off stage with an aerial kick.

Snake grabbed the last Dragoon piece, just as Captain Falcon got within striking range of him. Snake aimed precisely and knocked Captain Falcon off stage.

Sonic, who had been busy fighting Olimar for the smash ball, called for Snake's assistance. "Snake! Keep him busy, I'm going for the smash ball!"

"Got it!" Snake yelled back. But instead of fighting Olimar, he picked him up and threw him at Sonic, who flew towards the left tower and caught Captain Falcon on his way. Snake took the smash ball for himself, and easily ended the match.

~~~θ~~~

After the match, Snake and Sonic went off to enjoy their free time before the Random Brawl participants were announced that afternoon. Snake went to a quiet corner in the mansion where no one ever bothered him. and Sonic ran laps around the mansion.

Before lunch, Snake returned to their room to grab the medicine Zelda had given him. He didn't feel bad anymore, but she told him to take it until tomorrow, just to be safe. And he was not going to face her wrath.

"Cold" by Crossfade played from the radio on Sonic's nightstand, and a big package of blueberries were lying in front of the medicine bottle on Snake's nightstand.

Snake approached his nightstand skeptically. A note sat on top of the blueberries; Snake picked it from the radio on Sonic's nightstand, and a big package of blueberries were lying in front of the medicine bottle on Snake's nightstand.

"A little blue apology from the Blue Blur."

Snake smiled, and ate a few of the blueberries with his medicine; but not before checking them for poison.

At lunch, Sonic was given a "healthy meal" of red beans and rice, mustard greens, and corn bread; Master Hand was concerned about Sonic's "lack of nutrition." But Snake slipped him a chili dog from under the table.

"Apology accepted, kid." He whispered to him.

When everyone went to bed, "Don't Do Me Like That" by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers was playing on Sonic's radio.

"My thoughts exactly." Snake said when he and Sonic walked in.

Sonic sat on his bed. "Same." He turned off his radio and started digging through his drawer for a clean pair of socks.

Snake took his shower first. Then, wearing only boxers, he plopped down on his bed, exhausted. He ate a few blueberries before he got too comfortable.

Shortly afterwards Sonic walked out of the bathroom, dripping, and jumped into his own bed.

"I'm still gonna get you back for making my quills green."

Snake grinned, chewing blueberries. "I'm looking forward to it."

Within minutes both smashers were deep in sleep.


End file.
